The Emotional Legacy of Abandonment w/J. Rosemarie
Takeaways
The Abandonment of Daughters by Windrush Mothers (00:00–01:45)
- Introducing the experience and lingering feelings of abandonment many daughters of Caribbean mothers face, even when they reunite later in life.
The Emotional Toll and Healing Process (02:00–04:30)
- The deep emotional scars left by the abandonment.
- The importance of working through these issues for healing between mothers and daughters.
The Call for Shared Stories (05:00–06:50)
- An invitation to other abandoned daughters of Caribbean moms, and their mothers, to share their stories.
- The importance of understanding both perspectives—particularly the “why”—to foster healing and connection.
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Transcript
At 63, I don't know who my father is. And I'm not sure. There aren't a lot of women my age who don't know who their father is. You see, I am one of those women, daughters of Caribbean moms who are of the Windrush generation. And if you don't know what that is, then I'll be talking about that another time.
but my mom is a member of the Windrush generation and there are thousands of women, like I said, around my age who was abandoned by their moms in the Caribbean.
Jennifer Francis (:Whether or not you were later sent for and brought to whichever country your mom was residing, there still remained a residual feeling of abandonment unless it was worked through and we got healing for it. So,
I want to delve into this topic, not in a, I hate my mom kind of vibe, but this happened. This is how I feel about it. And this is what I think happened as a result of feeling abandoned by my mother. Now, I...
I hesitate to talk too much about this at first because my mom's still alive. And even though I haven't resolved a lot of my issues with her, I'm at peace with her. I spent several weeks with her and I am at peace, like I said, but I've met many women of Caribbean parents, of Caribbean moms who
have not yet come to terms with being abandoned in the Caribbean. And like I said, even though them send for you and they bring you into the new family they created, because a lot of them just forgot that they had a daughter in the Caribbean and came to the US or Canada or England and just immediately started a new family.
So you left back at home now, didn't really connect with her. And no matter what age you went and joined her in her new home country, you never quite fit in. And for those mothers who were unable to be a mother to you, the relationship never
Jennifer Francis (:never melded, it never became a real mother -daughter relationship. And it could have been especially bad if you were like me and were like the servant, so to speak, to your mom's new family. And for those of you who've experienced this, you know what I'm talking about. And the reason I thought this discussion is essential is
that I was in London for a few months and while there I was thinking about it because I've reconnected with my mom and the initial experience was very unpleasant. And I was thinking about it and I started a meetup group and I was amazed at the outpouring from these women who joined the meetup group. And there's several things that happen when
you carry this feeling of abandonment and it's hard to connect and if your mother still can't love you even when you're older it's like open it's like a it's like a wound that never heal it's scab over a little because you you move on to live in a life and
But every time you're reminded or the situation presents itself in some kind of brokenness, the scab is removed and it starts to bleed again. That sore never gets healed until people, mother and daughter, work it out. And a lot of times it's, I have to say, it's the mother's fault.
because, and it's not even about the leaving, it's that they never, they never learn to connect with that abandoned child. And the abandoned child comes in with a lot of attitude because they are expecting to be hugged and, you know, you know, and loved, but it doesn't happen. You're treated like a cousin or
Jennifer Francis (:total stranger in that new household. So when you're plucked from your, when you're plucked from the only home you've ever known in the Caribbean, you know, I was going to school via tech and you know, I was living with my aunt and in the middle of February I was plunked on a plane and shipped to England and yeah, anyway.
So this is what we want to talk about on this podcast, Abandoned Daughters of Caribbean Moms. What do you have to say? Sometimes I'll slip into my Jamaican twang, and other times I'll just speak because I want everyone to understand what the discussion is about. I'd really like to hear your opinion on this topic and on this podcast.
And if you are an abandoned daughter of a Caribbean mom, I'd like to interview you. I'd like to hear your story. If you feel brave enough to do it, I'd love to talk to you. And if you're one of those moms still alive and feel like, you know, you want to talk about it, I welcome you because it would be nice to hear the mother's perspective.
Why? You know, the why is probably the biggest question, but I want to hear your story. I'm Jérose Marie. Thank you.
